Entry #8: The Mentor Within.

I am at a point in the process of writing where everyone else’s opinions sound like noise.

One mentor contradicts another mentor.

One role model contradicts another role model.

And the loudest, and most confident voices around me, are the ones saying, forget about your own goals. Come work for me instead.

All the clear paths are treacherous.

And all the honest paths are unclear.

At the same time, there is an instinct inside getting louder and louder.

It says, No, do not go down that path. Try this one instead. Nope, don’t listen to that. Listen to this instead. Nope, don’t buy into that. Trust this instead.

Even though I’m most interested in what I need to do, the voice inside is much more interested in me knowing who I am.

External mentors have been such a gift, and a help, and a comfort in my life.

They’ve really helped show me the way.

I’ve also found myself, at times, going down the wrong path, just because someone, on that path, was willing to show me a clear direction.

At some point, it became clear that external mentors were only one piece of the puzzle.

I needed something inside to tell me which external mentors to tune into and when, and which external mentors I might need to be grateful for but tune out.

I needed an internal compass to count on, in times when I got contradicting advice, and no one mentor could promise me a clear direction.

I needed to lean more on that instinct that said pay attention, this is really useful, or warning, danger ahead.

And, in the absence of one sure mentor and one sure path, that is the instinct I am slowly learning to count on help me find my way through the noise and out to the other side.